Happy Birthday Ruth!

It's my oldest sister's birthday today. I thought it might be a good time to take a drive down memory lane. In the first picture I'm not sure how old I am, but I do know that since that time I have managed to grow taller than her (see second picture) :-) The second picture was taken this past summer when I went to St. Louis to visit her and we went to a Cardinals' game. Hope you had a great birthday Ruth!

Hudson Taylor, Part 2

One of the things that first made me interested in reading more about Hudson Taylor was the story of his conversion. He was brought up by parents who loved the L and had a sister who also deeply loved the L. But up until around the age of 17, he had always rejected the L. Then one day he was reading a small gospel tract and "while reading it was struck with the phrase: 'The finished work of C.' 'Why does the author use this expression?' I questioned. 'Why not say the atoning or propitiatory work of C?' Immediately the words, 'It is finished,' suggested themselves to my mind. 'What was finished?' And I at once replied, 'A full and perfect atonement and satisfaction for sin. The debt was paid for our sins, and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.' Then came the further thought, 'If the whole work was finished and whole debt paid, what is there left for me to do?' And with this dawned the joyful conviction, as light was flashed into my soul by the Holy Spirit, that there was nothing in the world to be done but to fall down on one's knees and, accepting this Savior and His salvation, praise Him for evermore" (Spiritual Secret of Hudson Taylor, 11-12). Finished. What better news can there be than this? This has been such an encouragement to me. It seems every day my biggest battle is to simply rest in this beautiful fact. So often I am prone to wander into worry because I feel like I don't understand everything about what JC did and exactly how he saved me. But the marvelous truth is, when he died, my salvation was finished! His resurrection secured all he accomplished for us in his life and death and proved G was satisfied :-) Horatius Bonar in his book, "The Everlasting Righteousness" says this: "The propitiation and righteousness finished on the cross, and there exhibited as well as presented to me freely, are such as entirely meet my case: offering me all that is fitted to remove dispeace and unrest from my heart and conscience;" That's what we must feed our souls with each day - the gospel. When we do, we will be willing to do as those before us, such as Hudson Taylor who laid down his life to share the blessed news with the Chinese people. Of course not everyone is going to be called to foreign missions like he was, but you don't have to be called to another country to lay down your life for people. We can do that anywhere. But we must be grounded on the Rock before we will be willing. Oh L, make us all bold and confident in You!

Hudson Taylor

I have been reading about this great man, Hudson Taylor, for the past several weeks. Our Peter Hall library had a copy of a biography about him, called "Spiritual Secret of Hudson Taylor". I have found his life to be inspiring to me and actually very relevant, despite the fact that he lived in the 1800s and early 1900s. I feel like I can identify with him in many ways. I guess the most clear bond I can feel with him is a similar love for China. From soon after his conversion around the age of 17, he felt a strong desire to live and teach the gospel in China. When he finally got the chance to go there years later, he poured out his life for the people. And that is what I want to do. I plan on doing a series of posts on him, talking about different things about him that I connect with or inspire to be like.

I am a mist

It's funny how our plans that we once thought were so sure can change so quickly. I guess that's why in James 4 it tells us, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil." The plan I'm referring to is my plan to stay at SIAS for another year. Almost all year I just assumed that this was where I would be. I love it here. I love my friends and while I don't love teaching all my classes, the ones I do enjoy teaching are really fun. Because of that, I just assumed of course this is where G0d wants me to stay. But that all changed a few weeks ago.

One of my foreign friends (by foreign I mean American...since here, we're the foreigners) has a similar heart for China and love for his students. He also had planned on staying but after going home for the break and talking with his pastors about his plans for the future, they advised him that it would be best for his future in missions if he came home for some training. Their advice wasn't based on something shallow like their opinion. No, it was based on the authority of the Word. Teachers are told to rightly divide the word of Truth and are told they will be judged more strictly. In addition, no where that I can think of in the Bible did someone autonomously decide to do G0d's work. They were always sent out - either by G0d or by the church. And when they were sent out they were always accountable to those that sent them. I don't feel that accountability here. At SIAS, there really is no authority to submit to - spiritually speaking. Yes there are other believers and we meet weekly, but there aren't elders or pastors. As I talked through these things with Brian, I was really convicted that if I plan on living in China for a long time, which I do, I need to go home and become more equipped first and then be sent out by the Body. I yearn for a mentor to grow and learn under. Whether this definitely means school I don't know. But it does mean living in America for a few years.

It will definitely be a hard move. I will miss my close student friends a lot. I wanted so much to stay with them and be a part of their lives and now I am faced with the stark reality that I may not see some of them ever again. I pray I will, but I don't know what G0d has planned. I plan to continue studying Chinese while living in America - partly because I want to live in China in the future and partly so I can keep in touch with my friends here! I am thankful to be living in an era in which keeping in contact with people on the other side of the world is relatively easy.

April Fool

If you've known me for very long, you probably know that I don't enjoy mean or pointless jokes and or pranks. And I really hate feeling stupid (though I don't know of many people that do enjoy losing face). The 22 years that I lived in America I never thought much about April Fool's Day...none of the people I hung around with ever cared about it. And until this year, I didn't think people in China cared about it either...well, I was wrong. I guess you could say I was "fooled". I got a text message from a student early in the morning with a fairly innocent sounding request. This is what it said: "All of us are very interested in foreigner's festivals. So how about have a conversation this night in our learning room?" (The freshmen have study hall in an assigned room every night from 7-9). So I agreed and asked which holidays she wanted me to talk about. During the day I kind of wondered if they were planning on doing something to me when I got to the classroom, but I convinced myself that in China they didn't celebrate April Fool's. So I spent about 45 minutes looking up information on different holidays and actually found out some cool things I didn't know before. Then I went to their classroom and spent about 45 minutes telling them about the holidays. They seemed to really enjoy it and I had a good time with them and left feeling happy.

Well...the next day I teach that class and during the 10 minute break I was talking with the girl that had asked me to come and talk the night before. She said something to the effect of, "You know I was just joking yesterday right? I wasn't really expecting you to come, so I was very surprised when you walked in." I was taken aback a bit, and told her that no I didn't know that she didn't really expect me to come. I said, I could only know that if you told me that I needn't come, it was just a joke. I was pretty mad inside and felt like a complete idiot for having done that. I guess that's the odd thing about April Fool's Day and the reason I hate it... the goal is to make others feel stupid. Why make a specific day to celebrate that when all of us (including me) want to do that naturally? We don't need any encouragement to do that! But anyway, it's ok now. She was sincerely sorry and saw that she had wasted a lot of my time. I told her not to worry about it and that I forgave her...after all, I've been forgiven for all the wrong things I've ever done!

Some of the foreigners here were also playing some jokes on each other that I didn't like. But they weren't directed at me, so it was easier to deal with! All that to say, of all the "holidays" in the world, April Fool's Day is my least favorite!