It's funny how our plans that we once thought were so sure can change so quickly. I guess that's why in James 4 it tells us, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil." The plan I'm referring to is my plan to stay at SIAS for another year. Almost all year I just assumed that this was where I would be. I love it here. I love my friends and while I don't love teaching all my classes, the ones I do enjoy teaching are really fun. Because of that, I just assumed of course this is where G0d wants me to stay. But that all changed a few weeks ago.
One of my foreign friends (by foreign I mean American...since here, we're the foreigners) has a similar heart for China and love for his students. He also had planned on staying but after going home for the break and talking with his pastors about his plans for the future, they advised him that it would be best for his future in missions if he came home for some training. Their advice wasn't based on something shallow like their opinion. No, it was based on the authority of the Word. Teachers are told to rightly divide the word of Truth and are told they will be judged more strictly. In addition, no where that I can think of in the Bible did someone autonomously decide to do G0d's work. They were always sent out - either by G0d or by the church. And when they were sent out they were always accountable to those that sent them. I don't feel that accountability here. At SIAS, there really is no authority to submit to - spiritually speaking. Yes there are other believers and we meet weekly, but there aren't elders or pastors. As I talked through these things with Brian, I was really convicted that if I plan on living in China for a long time, which I do, I need to go home and become more equipped first and then be sent out by the Body. I yearn for a mentor to grow and learn under. Whether this definitely means school I don't know. But it does mean living in America for a few years.
It will definitely be a hard move. I will miss my close student friends a lot. I wanted so much to stay with them and be a part of their lives and now I am faced with the stark reality that I may not see some of them ever again. I pray I will, but I don't know what G0d has planned. I plan to continue studying Chinese while living in America - partly because I want to live in China in the future and partly so I can keep in touch with my friends here! I am thankful to be living in an era in which keeping in contact with people on the other side of the world is relatively easy.
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